The Black Order Of Saints
by TokyoJunk
Summary: The adventures of Cross and his kindergarten class. Let’s hope the little runts are able to survive. AU. Very minor Cross/Link later on.
1. First Day

**First Day**

Today Cross was going to start his new job. With a mug of coffee in one hand, he walked towards the Principal's office. When he told his friends that he was going to be a kindergarten teacher at the Black Order of Saints Catholic school, they first laughed...hysterically. When he told them he was serious, they proceeded to make bets as to how long the man would last before running away from the kids screaming in horror. Cross gave himself six months; his friends gave him three days. Bastards.

When he reached the Principal's office, Cross was polite enough to kick the door in.

"It's called knocking Mr. Cross," Komui snipped, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose.

Cross shrugged, kicking the door shut.

"My hands are obviously full," Cross replied, showing the cup of coffee and folder he had in hand.

Komui sat up straight when Cross took a seat.

"Now, you're going to be substituting for Miss Cloud. She's still trying to find herself by adventuring into the Amazon and fighting wild monkeys," Komui said with a serious face as he intertwined his fingers and rested his chin on top of them.

Cross raised an eyebrow.

"I trust that you've read the file on the children."

Cross looked at the folder that he completely ignored all weekend since he was too busy getting hammered to care.

"Sure did."

Komui smiled.

"Miss Cloud used to be their pre-kindergarten teacher. So I hope her notes on the children were helpful enough."

"Yeah, yeah, I couldn't put the folder down it was so engrossing." Cross took out a flask to Irish up his coffee.

Komui gave a nervous chuckle as he watched the man practically empty the flask into his cup.

"Well, should we go?" Komui stood up. "We have to make it before they unleash certain destruction upon your classroom."

Cross frowned getting up, grabbing his coffee and folder. "But they're like five."

"I know, so we better hurry," Komui chimed, smiling.

Before either man made it to the door, it flew open, letting in a very tired looking Reever.

"Principal Komui, I need you to go over these budget files," the haggard man pushed the plump folders in Komui's direction.

Koumi, finding any and every opportunity to thwart Reever's plans to get him to do work, waved a hand. "Oh! Reever! Have I introduced you to our new teacher?" Komui beamed and patted Cross on the back to encourage him to say hello.

"His name is Marian Cross. He's going to be substituting for Miss Cloud until she comes back from fighting wild monkeys in the jungle!"

Reever nodded, shaking Cross's hand.

"I'm Reever, his secretary. Pleased to meet you Mr. Cross. Now Sir about these files," he began turning towards Komui.

"Oh! Can't right now!" Komui quickly turned knocking the folder's out of Reever's hands. "I'm going to escort Mr. Cross to his classroom! Tata!" Komui sang as he looped his arm around Cross' arm and ran out of his office.

A stunned Reever was left with a sea of disorganized files behind them.

* * *

When the pair made it to the classroom, Cross threw Komui off of him. The Asian man laughed and being the utter gentleman, opened the door for Cross. The redhead went on ahead, expecting chaos and destruction to greet him in the form of screaming brats raising hell. Instead, he met his class, who were all sitting Indian style on the floor in complete silence.

"Class, this is Mr. Cross. He is going to be your new teacher this year."

Cross looked at the kids stare at him with blank and confused looks.

"So behave now! Not that I have to tell my darling little Lenalee to behave because she's the most well behaved girl here. I trust she's going to be your number one student Cross!" Komui practically gushed, hands clasped as he almost sparkled in joy.

Cross had already blocked Komui out when he started to talk and moved on to sit at the desk.

Komui took that as a sign to leave and waved goodbye to the children, who were just staring at Cross, an intruder on their turf.

"Okay brats, I'm your new teacher. Call me Master Cross, or Master." He picked up the attendance sheet.

No one said anything, instead they just kept staring, and it was beginning to creep him out.

"When I call your name, say here or make a general noise," the redhead said looking over the names of his class. They weren't in any particular order.

"Allen Walker."

"Here." Cross looked up to see a boy with white hair raise his hand. The man raised an eyebrow at the odd looking boy.

"Yuu Kanda."

Another child raised their hand but they chose not to speak. Cross figured the little girl was shy or whatever.

"Lavi whose last name I'm not bothering to pronounce."

"Here!" a cheery redhead exclaimed.

Cross marked him here. He saw Lenalee Lee's name and marked her here since Komui wouldn't shut up about her.

"Marie Noise."

A large kid raised his hand. Cross looked at him, furrowing his brow in confusion.

"How old are you kid?"

"Five," the boy responded.

Cross stared at the large boy who looked to be old enough to be a third grader.

"...right, Rhode Kamelot," he said next. A dark skinned girl with a short haircut raised her hand.

"Arystar Krory The Third."

A frightful hand was raised. Cross raised an eyebrow at the creepy looking kid with the white bangs.

"Miranda Lotto."

"H-here," a strained, scared voice responded. _Great,_ now he had _two_ creepy kids.

"Jasdero and David Noah."

The pair of twins raised their hands, the blond one looking at his brother, mimicking him.

"And finally, Bak Chan," Cross said.

"Here!" a Chinese boy raised his hand.

Cross closed his folder and looked at his class.

"Just because I took your attendance and said your names doesn't mean I'm going to learn them. So do any of you have any questions?"

The kid with the white hair raised his hand.

"Where's Miss Cloud?" Allen asked.

Cross paused before answering. He could tell them the truth about their missing teacher and say that she was trying to find herself in the wild jungle fighting monkeys. Or he could lie and say something that would leave an optimistic impression about their former teacher.

"She died. She went to the jungle to fight monkeys and she lost. They ate her."

In retrospect Cross should've bitten his tongue and bled to death right there because at the moment the entire class began to wail. The sounds they were making weren't even human as they threw hysterical fits over their presumed dead teacher who was eaten by monkeys.

He downed the rest of his boozed up coffee.

It was going to be one hell of a long day.

* * *

**Note:** So I decided to make Cross in charge of several children's lives rather than one. This way, everyone gets at chance at growing up screwed.


	2. Story Time

**Story Time**

So far, Cross managed to survive a week at the Black Order of Saints catholic school. The little youth suckers didn't seem to act as bad as he anticipated. He thought that he'd had to resort to all types of threats, like saying that the boogie monster might come up from under their beds if they so much as made a peep during his nap time. Nope. All he had to do was bring up their dead teacher and the kids would start sniffling. He had a couple of wailers in the group, but he usually locked those kids up in the closet. Honestly, the whole mourning the 'teacher who was eaten by monkeys' was getting a little old now. Cross was ready to move the hell on. Unfortunately, the kids didn't know when to let shit go.

"Oi, gather around brats, it's story time," Cross announced going to the reading corner with a big book.

He sat in the rocking chair while all the little ones gathered at his feet. He smirked, feeling like a god. To think he was in a position of power where he could control these little brats into doing whatever he pleased. Whoever decided Cross was mentally competent to be around children obviously didn't know he was morally incompetent to teach them.

Cross opened the book of assorted fairy tales and cleared his throat.

"This story is called 'The three bears'—" Cross saw the eye patch kid, what was his name? Lenny? Larry? Whatever, Patchy raised his hand and so Cross called on him.

"What is it Patchy?"

"We already read that," Lavi said, smiling because he's a good boy and a good helper!

Cross was not impressed. "And?"

"Choose another one!" the redhead chirped.

Cross frowned. "This is not a democracy, this is a totalitarian regime. We read what I want, when I want, got it Patchy?"

Lavi pouted as he nodded sadly.

Another kid raised their hand, this time the one with the white hair. His name was Alice or was it Alex? Same shit.

"What is it Aaron?"

"My name is Allen!" the boy clarified. "And what's a total-oe-rian re-"

"As I was saying," Cross said, ignoring the boy who frowned when Cross chose to not answer his question. "The story is called 'The three bears' and it starts—"

Another student raised their hand; it was the big third grader.

"What is it now?"

"Can you show us the pictures?" Noise Marie asked politely.

"Use your imagination kid," Cross informed him because really, these kids were retarded if they couldn't even do something as simple as using their imaginations. Why couldn't they pretend that they were running through a cotton candy field on a magical unicorn made of glitter? Hell, Cross was imagining it right now and he was only on his second cup of boozed up coffee of the day.

"Anyway, the three bears lived in a house in the woods where—"

Lavi raised his hand.

Cross's eyebrow twitched. "What is it now Cyclops?"

"Bears live in caves!" He chirped smiling because Lavi was not only a good boy and a good helper, but he was smart too!

What the hell did this kid want, a pat on the head?

"The book says they live in houses."

"But they live in caves!"

Cross sighed.

"Well, you can say they live in caves until you're blue in the face kid, but this book tells me different."

Lavi stood up, his little hands balled up into tight fists. "But they do, I saw it on the Discovery Channel!" Lavi sounded really upset that he wasn't taken seriously.

"Yeah well, you're wrong."

"No! I'm right!" Lavi stomped a foot down.

"How do you know they didn't make up that story? Do you believe everything on television?"

"But-"

Cross closed the book and leaned over from his chair. "Are you sure those were real bears they were talking about? I'll tell you something boy, I studied bears and I have a degree and let me tell you that the Discovery Channel is the last place you want to learn about bears."

Lavi's bottom lip quivered and his eye began to tear. "But they—"

"Who's the one here with a degree in education _and _bears, me or you?"

Actually, Cross didn't have a degree in either, hell he didn't even have a degree, but the kid shoves crayons up his nose every other day so Cross deemed himself smarter and cooler by default.

Lavi whimpered and then sat down.

"Thought so," Cross said leaning backing into his rocking chair feeling smug.

He opened the book again. "Now, they lived in a house, not at _cave_," he looked at Lavi. "And then—"

Miranda raised her hand.

"For the love of God, _what_?" Cross barked.

Miranda flinched and let out a small noise.

"I-I need to go potty," she choked nervously.

"So? Go in your pants like everyone else."

"But I really have to go," she whimpered, and then started to cry. "I'm sorry! I'll pee in my pants now! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

Cross rolled his eyes.

"Alright! Shut up!" He closed the story book and stood up. "Okay, everyone get up, it's field trip time."

One class trip to the bathroom later…

Cross was already tired and story time has only been going on for about fifteen minutes! He couldn't get on with the damn story edgewise what with those little bugger eaters interrupting him every millisecond. Cross was annoyed enough to lock them all in the closet and take a nap, but unfortunately for Cross, the closet wasn't sound proof, which meant he'd hear their cries for help and shit.

Damn kids.

He cleared his throat as he opened the book again. He waited for everyone to settle down and then stared them down for about a minute or two, waiting and _daring_ them to raise a little hand up.

Everyone seemed to be calm at the moment so the man went on with the story.

"Now, the three bears, contrary to popular belief, lived in a house and not a cave. They woke up one morning and Lady bear, that's the mom, made some oatmeal or some shit you eat in a bowl. Anyway, Daddy Bear didn't want no shitty oatmeal and Baby Bear started whining and complaining that he actually wanted pancakes. Lady Bear went to the kitchen to make pancakes but Daddy Bear smacked her one and said that they were going out for _real_ pancakes and not the ones she always made that tasted like crap."

Cross remembered he had to turn the page. He was reading a story to them after all.

"So the Bear family went to IHOP where delicious pancakes are made and you can eat them _all _the time, even at three in the morning when you're high as a kite and sloshed like no other. Take note kids: that's real customer service. Another place to eat when you're stoned and or drunk is Dennys. Anyway, they left and little did they know that some rich brat would come break into their house, have sex with her boyfriend on their beds, break all their shit, and worst of all, _eat all of their food_. Even the shitty oat meal Lady Bear made for her ungrateful family wasn't spared out of the clutches of this little fat ass."

He turned the page.

"As the little harlot turned her attention to Daddy Bear's prized vintage bottle of whiskey at his bar, the Bear Family, filled with pancake goodness from IHOP, came home. She dropped the bottle, surprised that bears lived in houses and not caves as she thought they did from learning from the Discovery Channel..." Cross looked at Lavi, wore a shocked look.

"...Daddy Bear was furious and so were Lady Bear and Baby Bear. Baby Bear was pissed because she broke all their shit including his Nintendo Wii. Lady Bear was pissed because she ate all the fucking food. I mean, this little hooker comes in acting like she owns the place and eats all their food. Does she know how expensive grapes are by the pound? Does she not know we're in a recession? Daddy Bear was the most pissed of all for obvious reasons and I don't blame him. Not a single drop of his beloved booze survived this little harpy's attack. He mourned the loss of his only friends, Jack Daniels and Johnny Walker, both of whom were the only things that got him through the day."

And this point Cross doesn't care about being realistic with the whole story time book thing and tossed the book aside.

"So you can understand the phrase, 'bitch had it coming' when it came to the Bear family explaining to the cops why pieces of the brat ended up smeared all over their house. Anyway, because the bears weren't going to be pussies and take her shit lying down-and trust me because I studied bears, they are no pussies-they decided to eat her. And when her parents came looking for her, they ate them too because anyone who's allowed to breed such a rotten brat with that much sense of entitlement and asshatery shouldn't be allowed to live anyway. The Bears moved on with their lives after that and when the cops came, no charges were filed because like I said before, bitch had it coming. So the three bears moved on with their lives. Daddy Bear worked his nine to five all the while drowning in booze because he's trapped in a loveless marriage all because he didn't like wearing condoms. Life Lesson kids: wrap it up or your life is over. Lady bear is still a shitty house wife who makes shitty food. And Baby Bear is still an obnoxious brat who only eats and shits everywhere because he doesn't have a job. The end."

All the kids blinked as one as they tried to process what was read or rather told to them. After a short silence, Lavi spoke up.

"That's not how the story goes! Miss Cloud read it different."

Cross frowned. Bullshit, that story was good. It had life lessons and everything!

"Well, is Miss Cloud here to defend herself?"

"No."

"Then shut up," Cross said smiling.

Now it was Allen's turn to be the bane of Cross's existence.

"But it's true! That's not how the story goes!"

Cross was getting sick and tired of this shit.

"Who are you going to believe, me or your dead teacher, who was eaten by monkeys?"

It was like a bomb went off. Every single kid began to tear up and then, out of no where they all began screaming like there was no tomorrow.

And just like that Cross's totalitarian regime disintegrated under the weight of wails and tears.

Cross covered his ears. Great, not this again. He got up and tried to make his way through the wailing tantrum throwing bunch. So story time was a bust. He now knew never to do that again and to a greater extent he now learned that bringing up the dead teacher thing was not working in his favor any more. He finally made it to the door and opened it.

Closing it behind him, he let out a sigh. He could either wait it out, which would mean staying outside or he can do something that'll make them stop crying and give him peace.

Then Cross got an idea.

He walked down the hall and went to the tech room.

* * *

When Cross returned to the class room, the kids were still crying. Jesus, what the fuck were these kids on? It was just a dead teacher who wasn't really dead but is probably dead anyway. If anything, Cross was doing them the favor by telling them the inevitable. Whatever.

Cross rolled the television cart, making sure not to run over any of them, though the temptation was there. He set the television up and turned it on. He went back to his rocking chair and changed the channel with the remote.

"All my single ladies! All my single ladies! All my singles!"

At the sound of Beyonce's voice, one by one, the kids began to stop crying. They all stared at the black and white video of Beyonce dancing and singing about putting a ring on something.

"If you liked it then you should have put a ring on it! Oh, Oh, Oh, Uh, Oh, Oh, Oh Oh Oh!"

It was like magic. They all swayed and bopped to her music. Even the most reluctant kid, the one to Cross's horror was actually a boy (Kanda) was entranced by the song.

Cross sat back in his rocking chair sipping on a fresh cup of his booze coffee. Story time was indeed not the best idea since there were so many technicalities involved. But music video time? That's on their schedule from now on. Everyone wins. The kids win because they see something cool and something they like. Plus, they don't talk, hell, they don't even blink as they're too busy being mesmerized by colors and sound. And Cross ended up being the biggest winner because the kids shut up and he didn't really have to do anything while he enjoyed watching Beyonce shake her ass.


	3. Lesson Time

**Lesson Time**

Cross looked at his kindergarten class as they gathered on the floor for their lesson of the day. The kids were more preoccupied with playing than paying attention as they toyed around with leggos and rolled around with each other. Cross remembered that he had to follow a strict lesson guide, which was distributed at the last faculty meeting he attended. Cross snorted, remembering how another teacher tried to explain to him the importance of teaching these brats the fundamentals.

_"It's really the perfect idea! The children get a head start at learning the three Rs, reading, writing, and arithmetic!" a young colleague of his boasted._

_Cross rolled his eyes._

_"They're five; they can't even pronounce their Rs right."_

_"But think about it, these kids have the potential at becoming geniuses with this curriculum."_

_Cross remembered how one of his kids tried to fit a square block through a hole clearly made for a triangle block. The kid went into a fit of rage when it didn't work and hurled the block across the room, hitting Cyclops in his good eye. He spotted the kid a second later, brooding over it and eating paste in the corner._

_"Geniuses...right."_

Cross came back from his thoughts at the sound of the kids cheering and yelling as Allen and Kanda began to fight. The redhead frowned disapprovingly and went to separate the two.

"You're both going to the corner," He barked, holding one in each hand. As the boys hung from their collars, they struggled to get near one another again to fight.

"You're going into the corner for hitting a girl." He went and dropped Allen on his ass in one corner. Kanda tried to work his way out of Cross's grasp.

"I'm a boy damn it!"

"And you're going in the corner," Cross said raising his voice over Kanda's bitching, "For being a confusing she-male with a dirty mouth." And Kanda was dropped on his ass in another corner.

Cross dusted his hands off and walked up to the chalk board. "Now that I dealt with twiddle dee and twiddle dumb over there…" Allen chose to stick his tongue out at Cross, while Kanda flipped him off.

"…let's start the lesson."

The handsome teacher picked up of piece of colored chalk.

"Now, I'm under a strict contract to teach you some shit that's supposed to help you little tards become geniuses."

Cross wrote out the three letter Rs on the board.

"But I say, fuck it. I'm not teaching something that's going to guarantee you a lifetime of swirlies. I'm gonna teach you how to be a badass like yours truly." He smirked. "After this lesson all of you will be one degree cooler than you were before with the exception of she-male and dumbass over there."

Both boys glared at Cross, but the man ignored them.

"Now, we're learning the three Rs today. And they are much cooler than the ones I'm mandated to teach you."

"Are they reading, writing, and arithmetic?" Lavi chirped up with out raising his hand. Because he was such a smart boy!

"Quiet, Cyclops. I already said I wasn't going to teach you that queer shit."

Lavi frowned.

"Now, your first R is for Robbing." He drew a purse plus a hand reaching for it. Then he added an equal sign next to them and drew a dollar bill sign. "You take the money."

Allen raised his hand from the corner. Cross turned to him, narrowing his eyes and frowning.

"What is it?" he asked, displeased.

"Stealing is wrong," Allen informed him with a pout.

Cross blinked, and turned to his class again.

"So you take the money when no one is looking," he said.

"Master Cross! Master Cross!" Bak Chan raised his hand.

"What is it now?"

"Is that the only way to take money?"

"Good question. You get a gold star." Bak chan beamed at Cross as the man stuck a gold star on the boy's forehead and then stuck out his tongue at Lavi, because unlike Lavi, Bak Chan had _two _eyes which made him twice as smart!

Cross put the stickers away. He saw another teacher use stickers to reward students for doing something right. He thought it was a genius idea because it helped motivate the kids into being better slav-...behaved. Then Cross had one too many more booze-than-coffee cocktails and ended up using most of the stickers to tape their eyes and mouths shut.

"You can also cheat to get the money," Cross said, drawing some playing cards and then an arm with a hidden card up its sleeve.

Allen's little jaw dropped. "You can't do that!"

Another hand was raised, this time, it was Lenalee.

"Master Cross, what do we do after we take the money?" she asked, completely ignoring Allen in the naughty corner.

Cross grinned. "Another good question. You get a gold star." He plastered a star on her forehead. "You bring the money to me, your master, which brings me to the next R, running."

He drew a happy stick figure running away from other stick figures with angry faces.

"Once you take the money, you run like hell."

"Why?" little Rhode asked.

"Because you don't want to get caught."

"Is it like playing tag?" One of the twins, Jasdero, inquired.

"Yes, it is exactly like playing tag. You only win if you get away."

The entire class nodded in unison.

"But stealing and cheating is wrong!" Allen roared outraged.

"God, we get it! Daddy never you! Jesus kid, no one likes an attention whore. Either shut up or start playing with yourself just like she-male is doing over there."

Everyone looked at Kanda whose little eyes widened in horror and cheeks reddened with heated embarrassment. "I'm not playing with myself assholes!" He shrilled as he continued to play with his silky locks.

Cross rolled his eyes.

"Anyway, running is a basic skill that I'm sure even you retards can do, since you do it all the time in the playground."

Rhode raised her hand again. "Can we also rob candy?"

"Hm, you're on to something brat. See that, kids? What she did right there is called thinking outside the box."

"What's that?" Miranda asked.

"It means being useful to Master," Cross replied as he slapped some stickers on Rhode's forehead for being a smart girl.

Krory shyly raised his hand. "Are we useful to you Master?"

"No, you're all fucking useless."

All the children pouted.

"Although master prefers that you take the money, you are also encouraged to take whatever else you want because I'm not sharing the money with you. So in summary, go crazy. Take what you want."

He looked towards Rhode.

"You girl, you're my right hand man from now on."

"What's that?" she asked, grinning.

"It means you're my special helper since it seems you're the only one here who can tell the difference between your head and your ass."

"Can I be your left hand!" Bak chan piped up with his hand in the air.

"No! I want to be the left hand!" Lavi shouted, shoving him. Bak chan shoved him back.

"Oi! Stop it!"

But the boys kept shoving each other until Bak Chan was tackled into the ground by Lavi.

Cross rubbed his temples. He could very well go over there to stop them from pounding each other's faces in, but that meant that he actually had to care about their safety and shit. Fuck it. He just didn't want to conjure up any effort.

"Fine," he sighed, giving in. "Just fight to the death. Whoever wins is my other hand."

The boys continued their scuffle.

"Now," Cross started again, "The last R is the best one. It's the fruits of your labor, the Rewards. After you take the money and get away with it, I get to think of ways to spend the money."

He drew dollar signs again with an equal sign and a happy face next to it.

"I will spend the money on things that make me happy. Like booze, hookers, and blow."

"What's blow?"

Cross didn't really know how to answer that at the moment. Thank God the school bell rang at the moment as it signaled recess time!

"Alright brats, it's time to put what I taught you to the test." He signaled for Kanda and Allen to leave their corners of shame to join the rest of the class. They all gathered around Cross.

"Now my little minions go forth and earn Master money!" he bellowed as he motioned towards the door. The kids went crazy and ran out, pushing other kids out of the way.

A teacher gave Cross a stern glare for his disorganized class. Cross shrugged, not giving a shit, and went out the door. Meanwhile, Lavi and Bak Chan were still fighting back inside the classroom.

* * *

Cross enjoyed his cigarette just fine as he sat in the no smoking zone on the playground. So far, the brats were proving to be really useful as they brought him anything they stole from the other kids. They mostly brought him candy, toys, and food, which he dismissed and let them keep. His right hand man, however, actually scored him a wallet. As he pocketed the money inside and sent her off to dispose of the evidence, Komui made his way towards the redhead with a steaming cup of coffee in hand.

"Ah! Mr. Cross, fancy seeing you here!" the man chimed as he sat down next to him.

"Yo," Cross acknowledged as he took another drag of his cigarette.

"It seems like you're enjoying yourself here since you started! I haven't seen you run away from your children in horror once!" Komui laughed.

Cross let out a long stream of smoke.

"Are your children getting along with each other?"

Kanda chose to help Allen into the sandbox, face first of course. The white haired boy struggled to breathe as Kanda held his face in the sand.

"They're the best of friends," Cross replied, dryly.

"Wonderful!" Komui cheered.

At the moment, Cyclops ran up to them with his little hands balled up into tight fists.

"Master Cross!" Lavi chirped smiling despite the busted lip Bak chan gave him. "I got quarters this time!"

Komui looked at Lavi in horror. Cross looked between the Chinese man and the boy. He decided he needed to sound smooth in front of his boss.

"You know kids," he began, pulling Lavi close to him. "They get hurt and have suspicious marks on them all the time. If you ask me, I bet his father beats him." He opened his hands to let Lavi drop the quarters.

"Oi, I said if it's not in paper form, it's not worth taking. Now scram," he said, pocking the change anyway and sending the boy off.

A couple of seconds lapsed before Komui said something.

"Mr. Cross, was that boy just stealing?"

The redhead let out a cloud of smoke. "Of course not. What do you take me for? Some drunken, selfish, bastard who isn't allowed to be near kids?"

Komui chose not to say anything and drank from his coffee mug.

"Mr. Cross you have to remember that these children are very young. They are at a very impressionable age. They are fragile little beings and they should be handled with care—"

Cross chose to trip a black eyed Bak Chan as the boy came to show him the apple he stole.

"You were saying?"

"Why would you do that?" Komui chastised the redhead. The Chinese man picked the little boy up and dusted him off. Little Bak Chan was all smiles as he bowed his thanks while he clutched his apple.

"I'm trying to help him build character," Cross explained.

Komui, daunted by this logic, stared at the redhead with his mouth agape with horror.

"H-how?"

"Well, you just said they were fragile and stupid—"

"I never said—"

"—and thus I just disproved that by showing you that he's not fragile and that he's sort of not dumb."

Bak chan, who was super happy and all smiles as he gave Cross the apple he stole, was tripped yet again in the same exact spot Cross had tripped him before.

"Looks like we might have to work on the stupid part," Cross added as Bak Chan got up completely oblivious to the fact that it was the very master he served who tripped him and indirectly got him his very first black eye.

Cross tossed the apple to Komui as Bak Chan ran away to play.

"Mr. Cross, I've been getting complaints from other teachers that your class is out of control."

The redhead finished his cigarette. "They're just jealous that my kids are more kick ass," he said, tossing the cigarette butt on the floor to rub it out.

"You haven't been using the safety buddy system at all."

The man snorted as he picked up the cigarette butt and threw it in the trash. "I already taught them something better and less gay."

"Making them scream 'stranger danger' anytime an adult that is not you gets near them is not my idea of a safety system. Also, I don't find the addition of them punching anyone in the crotch while they are screaming that to be any funny."

Cross snorted as he took out another cigarette. What did Komui mean? That shit was hilarious.

"Oi, I've kept them pedophile free since the day I started my system," Cross defended himself. "Those pedophiles won't think twice about taking them away when their balls are kicked so far inside their puking them."

Komui sighed. "Regardless, I think it'll help you more in you do it. How about it?" The raven haired man smiled. "It's better than having them run around like little animals. Plus, head counts are a breeze when they're all paired down. And they look so cute!" Komui gushed. "So you'll try it, right?"

Cross tried to ignore the man who was staring at him with that dumbass look on his face.

Cross lit his cigarette. "Whatever."

"Wonderful!" Komui smiled.

At the moment, Rhode came up to Cross with another wallet.

"Is that a—"

Cross quickly took the wallet and pointed to where Lenalee was playing.

"Is that an unmarked white van I see? I think I see a stranger coming out to talk to Lenalee," Cross warned Komui.

Komui dropped his cup of coffee and quickly sprang up to protect his precious jewel. "Lenaleeeeeee!" the man screamed as he rushed towards the girl, who at the moment was putting on a new pair of shoes she just stole.

Cross grinned as he opened the wallet. He stopped midway from counting all the bills when Rhode began to stare at him.

"What do you want?"

She put her little hand out. Cross frowned and gave her a dollar. The little girl madly grinned and skipped away humming.

Cross raised an eyebrow as he pocketed the rest of the cash and got rid of the wallet. He had to be careful with that one. She looked like she had the potential to over throw his regime.

* * *

**Note: **Thanks for reading!


	4. Buddy System

**Buddy System**

Cross decided that it was time to use the stupid buddy system since he wanted his ears to stop bleeding from Komui's nagging. He didn't think his kids needed it since his system, which he dubbed 'Cross's kick ass guide to protecting your pleasure dome', was doing just fine. Sure he got complaints from parents that their children were punching random strangers in crotches while screaming rape. But at least the kids knew how to defend themselves and were pedophile free. Regardless, he had to start implementing the damn system because he was tired of Komui nagging him to death when he let the kids go wild and attack other teachers.

Cross looked at his class who were lined up in the playground. "Today we're going to start the buddy system," he said, eying his brats critically.

"I thought you said it was queer," Lavi piped up not raising his hand.

All the children nodded in unison to the boy's argument.

Cross tried to recall ever saying that as he reached for the flask he kept hidden in the breast pocket of his vest. There was no coffee in the lounge today and he was too lazy to make any for his booze. He drank from his flask, shrugging. Eh. He was sure he'll remember saying that someday.

"So, today's activity will involve working with a partner. Team work is very important for what I'm going to have you guys do," he said as he gave out the handout he made copies of this morning.

It was a scavenger hunt list and there were five pictures of items the children had to find. One could say that Cross was finally taking his job seriously and actually put work into this activity to ensure his children learned the fundamentals of team work and tolerance. But in actuality, he just cut out the barely coherent list out of a cereal box this morning and made photo copies. Hell, some of the stuff on the list were probably near impossible for a five year old to find, but they didn't know that and he didn't care.

"We're going to do a scavenger hunt."

The children cheered.

"But you're all going to be partnered down," Cross said, cutting their celebration short. "Whoever finds all the items on the list first will get a special prize."

"Like candy!" the Noah twins cheered in unison.

Cross raised an eyebrow. "Sure…candy." Actually, there was no prize, because Cross believed that these children were at the right age where one should promise them the world and then have said world crushed in front of them, thus teaching them the harsh realities of life.

Leenalee raised her hand. "What if we find the things and aren't first?"

"Then you're shit outta luck and did all that work for nothing," Cross replied.

Leenalee pouted, her world slightly crushed.

"Okay! Time to partner you guys down." He took out the class list, which he still hasn't bothered to memorize since he's given them all cool nicknames. But he took it out to look more official.

"First pair up. Mopey and Dopey other there," Cross said, pointing at Miranda and one of the twins, David. His brother, Jasdero, frowned and wouldn't let his brother go.

Cross frowned.

"Oi! I said Mopey and Dopey! You, Wonder Twin…" he said, referring to Jasdero. "Go activate your behind over there. Go." Jasdero pouted, but moved away from his brother nonetheless.

"Okay, second up, are my right hand man and that idiot over there." He pointed to Allen and Rhode. The dark girl grinned wolfishly as she looked towards her new partner. Allen paled, whimpering and Cross chose to ignore the look of fear in the child's face as he announced the next pair.

"Wonder twin," he pointed at Jasdero. "You're with the third grader." Noise Marie was nice enough to walk towards his partner.

Cross pointed at Krowley next. "Cry baby, you're with Cyclops." Lavi grabbed Krowley's hand and smiled, making the shy boy relax a bit.

"Left hand dumb ass," Cross said, referring to Bak Chan. "You're with the girl." Lenalee went and held Bak Chan's hand. The boy sputtered, his cheeks blushing a bright red. Then the heated blush soon became red blotches as he broke out into hives.

"Oh for the love of-" Cross snatched Lenalee away and then shoved Kanda towards Bak Chan. Seeing no change in the boy's hives—after all, Kanda and Lenalee _did_ look alike—Cross used his critical thinking skills and taking the nearest child he could find (today was just not Krowley's day) shoved Krowley towards Bak Chan and then had Lenalee partner up with Lavi, who beamed at the prospect of holding the girl's hand.

Cross, who was now satisfied that Bak Chan was now sulking instead of breaking out into hives, took out his flask and took another swig from it.

"There. Now run wild," he said, putting the flask away and dispatching his little animals.

Seeing the kids run wild with their little hunt gave Cross a sense of accomplishment. Not because these children will learn about team work and respecting others, but because at the moment, he didn't really have to teach anything and could possibly take a nap.

Cross sat down on the bench taking out his notebook to take "notes" but in reality it was a notebook with a dirty magazine in the middle with hot women. He didn't even get to turn the page of his playboy when Kanda had kicked him in the shin.

Cross doubled over, hissing in pain.

"What the hell was that for she-male?" he barked. Kanda didn't flinched, used to Cross's animosity.

"I don't have a partner!" Kanda spat, gripping his handout tightly.

Cross raised an eyebrow as he sat up. Normally he wouldn't care, but the way Kanda just glared at him as he tried not to pout really pulled at something. Cross rolled his eyes, not wanting to hear Kanda's bitching and not wanting to see any tears—because Kanda's eyes, no matter how much the boy blinked, looked about to drown in them.

"Fine, I'm your partner," Cross sighed, defeated. "Go find shit for us to win," he said, giving Kanda's bottom a little pat of encouragement to be on his way.

Cross leaned back into the bench, fishing for a cigarette as he was now childfree and could finally relax.

After lighting up and letting out a long slow stream of smoke, the man detected trouble. He could already hear the fighting, the tears, and the all about whining. He shut his eyes, trying hard to concentrate on his cancer stick. When their bitching got even louder, Cross's eyes snapped open, an annoyed twitch already taking over his left eyebrow.

There was complete chaos on the playground. None of the children were doing what they were told to do with the exception of a few.

Lavi and Bak Chan were fighting each other over who got to be Lenalee's partner as the girl looked on worried. Rhode was draped on a hysterically sobbing Allen who was trying to crawl away by reaching for Kanda, who refused to help since he was jealous. The twins ended up together anyway and were happily playing and doing their hunt, leaving their partners, Miranda and Noise Marie to get together to do the activity. And Krowley was crying all by himself because he lost his list and didn't know what to do now that he didn't have a partner.

Cross looked on, concentrating on his cigarette. He'd be damned if he let those little bastards screw him out of his smoke.

"My, my, looks like you need a little help," a well known voice chirped. Cross growled, knowing all too well who is was.

"Aren't you supposed to be working and not making my life any more miserable than it already is?" he asked snidely as Komui sat down next to him.

Komui laughed. "Of course!"

The children carried on in the yard and Cross rubbed his temples. Komui observed a little before turning to Cross to state the obvious.

"So I see the buddy system needs a bit more tweaking?"

Cross snorted. "No shit, Sherlock."

Komui smirked, clasping his hands together. "Perhaps I could offer my assistance."

"Knock yourself out."

Komui stood up, smoothing out his attire before setting about to gathering the children and his precious Lenalee. Cross watched as he continued to smoke, looking at how well the children were listening to Komui as he set about bring them together in peace. Komui might've been an idiot, but the redhead had to give him credit at being able to round up those little monsters without having to yell. Once the children were lined up and asked to go back to their original partners, Cross put his cigarette out and joined them.

"Ah. So this was the original formation?" Komui asked as he rubbed his chin. "Tsk. Tsk. This won't do. Allow me to switch them up a bit."

Komui grabbed David and put him with Jasdero. "Now, the twins must be together. You would think that separating them would ease their co-dependency on each other, but at this age, they're monstrously stubborn."

"Ah," the Chinese man looked at Noise Marie and Miranda. "This is a good pairing, but Miranda should go with Krowley since their personalities are alike," he said making the second pair.

Next, he grabbed Lenalee and put her with Rhode. "I refuse to let my precious jewel be with any of these stinky boys," Komui snobbishly said with his nose turned up. All the boys in the class frowned.

Cross snorted; little did Komui know that he just tossed his little lamb into the lion's den.

"Now, we should have Noise Marie with Lavi because—"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah" Cross said waving a hand about. "Less with the reasons and more with the switching."

Komui nodded and picked Bak Chan to be with Kanda. But the Chinese boy immediately broke out into hives.

"Oh dear," Komui whispered slightly horrified.

"Disgusting isn't it?" Cross said, watching the boy slouch, ashamed.

"Well, how about this!" He switched Kanda out and brought in Allen.

Crossed noticed the annoyed sullen look Kanda had on his face.

"How about this?" Cross took Allen and shoved him into Kanda hard enough that they both fell down. "There. They always fight and no matter what I do they always seem to find each other and fight some more."

Komui pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose, studying the struggling pair (for they began to fight over who got up first) critically. "But won't that cause more problems?"

Cross shrugged. "I'd like to think of it as: a. they'll both get tired and stop or b. one of them will die as they fight to the death." He paused. "My money's on the she-male by the way."

Komui nodded, seeing Cross's point. If the boys are denied each other they'll always come back. But if you give into what they want, eventually their fighting will fizzle out and they'll start getting along.

"What about Bak Chan?" Komui asked.

"I'll have a trio and then every week he goes to a different group that isn't the girl or the she-male since the kid breaks out into hives," Cross replied, pushing Bak Chan towards Miranda and Krowley.

"Interesting," Komui nodded, seeing that the solution doesn't make the child feel left out. "Well Cross, I'd have to say this line up should work for you now."

"It better because if it doesn't I'm locking everyone in the closet," he growled, narrowing his eyes on his brats.

All the children gulped.

"Now run wild!" he barked and the children scattered to finish their hunt.

Ten minutes in and it seemed like the second match up was working. All the pairs were working together in harmony with the exception of Kanda and Allen who were fighting. Cross lit another cigarette and congratulated himself on another job well done as Komui watched the children and participated in helping them every once in a while. It wasn't until a smoking hot young woman appeared that Cross actually started to pay attention to his surroundings.

"Oh, they're adorable!" said hot woman cooed.

Komui's smile threatened to outshine the sun as he beamed with his chest puffed out.

"They are aren't they? They're ours!" he chuckled while giving Cross an enthusiastic pat on the back. The redhead inhaled too quickly and choked on the smoke of his cigarette.

The young woman smiled. "Aw, they're just so cute!" she chirped. "You two must be the envy of your friends! I bet you guys get teased a lot for being the Brad and Angelina of the gay community."

Cross paled. This, wasn't happening to him. It must be a horrible nightmare because when Cross dreams, he's usually rolling in booze and sexy bitches.

"I'm Brad and he's Angelina," Komui chuckled. "Right honey?"

Cross's retort never made it out as Komui covered his mouth with his. The redhead felt his soul leave his body when the raven haired man pulled back from the kiss.

The woman clasped her hands together. "Dawwww! And it's cute because it's probably true!" she sang. "Well, I'll leave you two love birds to it then," she winked.

Komui gave the woman a toothy grin as he waved goodbye to her. Cross, on the other hand, remained a hollow husk as he stood in shock.

"Wasn't that fun?" Komui grinned. "I bet she thinks you must be the most delicious little bottom slave! Because honestly, you look the type who only thinks he tops but is usually turned into a weeping mess when someone.." Komui chose to whisper the rest of the comment in Cross's ear just in case any of the children were about.

Cross's lifeless eyes widen in horror.

"Cross?"

Cross's left eyebrow twitched as his eyes darkened. Komui took note of this and slowly began to back away.

"Cross, I was only joking!" The man chuckled nervously. "You do top!" He raised his hands in defense. "From the bottom, right?"

It was the last question Komui asked before he turned around to run.

* * *

It isn't until the children heard Komui's screams of agony that they noticed something was wrong.

All the children stopped and watched in awe as their teacher dragged a hysterically sobbing Komui away.

"Look! Master has a buddy too!" Lavi cheered.

"No! Not the nurse's office! _Anything but the nurse_!" Komui screamed, clawing at the ground as he was being dragged away.

They children pouted, knowing well that the nurse's office was the last place anyone would want to go if they got a boo-boo. The nurse was _so_ scary.

Koumi's screams seemed to get under control after Cross, whose anger burned with the force of a thousand suns, stopped to kick him in the face...repeatedly.

The children shook their heads, sympathetic to Komui's plight as Cross dragged his semi-lifeless body inside.

They knew him well.

* * *

Dedicated to Folcon de Neige who wanted Allen and Kanda to be buddies in this buddy system, so here ya go!


	5. Arts and Crafts

**Arts and Crafts**

It was decided during the last staff meeting that the children should have a guest teacher come in once a week. Well, that was the reason Mr. Tiedoll gave when he showed up to Cross's classroom with a huge cart of art supplies. The redhead was skeptical at first, considering that Tiedoll was crazy and claimed they were the best of friends, but since he always slept through these reported staff meetings, Cross couldn't really rule the crazy man out.

Cross let the man with his circus cart of art supplies in the classroom.

"Cross! How are you and your little ones faring?" Tiedoll asked as he rolled his cart inside.

"They're alive," Cross shrugged.

Tiedoll saw that the children were running around doing whatever they wanted. Some were screaming and fighting while others were literally wreaking havoc as they destroyed toys and threw them at each other.

"My, what a vivacious bunch," Tiedoll marveled.

"Yeah, it's actually supposed to be nap time."

"Really?"

"Yeah, but the little harpies won't let me take one with all their noise," Cross grumbled as led Tiedoll to the front of the class.

"I trust that you're getting used to children now that you're teaching."

Cross shoved some of his brats out of the way with his foot.

"Oi! Calm the fuck down!"

"Ooooh! Nice technique." Tiedoll complimented as he made his way inside. Cross made room for him by shoving some of the kids out of the way with his foot.

"I'm getting the hang of this teaching thing," Cross said. Miranda, who was currently crying over something Rhode had told her ran up to Cross and pulled on his pant leg for attention.

"Stop crying and man the hell up!" Cross growled, bringing his leg up and stomping down. Miranda cried harder now, apologizing that she should've known better and that she'll try twice as hard now to be the man Master Cross wanted her to be. Cross rolled his eyes and sent the little crier off.

"Amazing!" Tiedoll was in awe. "You're a natural! Who knew that a former student of mine would make such an adequate teacher?"

Cross winced at that. Tiedoll indeed was his former teacher, when Cross was like, five. The man hardly aged since then.

"Jesus Christ, how old are you?" Cross asked, a bit disturbed that the man in front of him still looked the same.

Tiedoll blushed, bringing his hand up to cover his mouth as he chuckled. "Hohoho! A gentleman never tells!"

The redhead's eye twitched, regretting even asking.

Cross looked at his rambunctious children from the front of the classroom.

"Oi! You little heathens stop what you're doing and pay attention!"

Cross's voice sounded like a loud clap of thunder as all the children immediately stopped whatever they were doing and looked up, their faces pale with fear.

"Oh, the cruel sound of your voice is a great indicator of the love you have for them!"

Cross frowned as he looked at the children. "Yeah…love." The redhead thought that if he could, he would express his love by cramming bricks down their little throats to drown out the screaming, the crying, and the bitching.

"So today we're going to have a guest teacher teach you something since I don't give a damn about what you learn anymore."

All the children looked at Tiedoll, who smiled and waved at them. Their little eyes narrowed with suspicion.

"Don't worry, he's cool."

The children eased up.

"Hello Mr. Tiedoll," the children droned in unison.

Tiedoll, completely oblivious to the previous aura of animosity from the children clapped his hands together and smiled. "Today we're going do some arts and crafts!"

The class perked up at the news.

"We're going to do some paints, play with clay, and paper crafts! So I'll set up the stations while your teacher…" he said, pointing to Cross who growled, "…will break you off into groups of three!"

Cross sucked his teeth. _Not this shit _again, he thought as fished for his flask since there was no coffee today in the teacher's lounge _again_.

"Okay dumbasses; come here to be separated while that fossil over there gets things ready."

The children gathered around quickly. Cross thought it was going to be painful, but he remembered what Komui had said before. Remembering the rule that Bak Chan couldn't be with Lenalee or Kanda, he set the first trio to be Miranda, Krowley, and Bak Chan. Knowing that the twins were never going to separate and seeing that Rhode was their cousin (they looked related and thus Cross deemed it so), the second group became the twins and Rhode. The third group was easy to put together since it was Noise Marie, Lenalee, and Lavi because Allen and Kanda were in their naughty corners for being idiots.

"There, that's good right?" Cross asked as Tiedoll came over with a handful of tiny aprons for the children.

"What about the two children in the corners?" Tiedoll pointed over to Allen and Kanda who were sulking in their respective naughty corners.

"They don't get to play because they were naughty."

"Oh my! That's no good!" Tiedoll said, helping the children put on their aprons. "Would you like an apron too?"

"Hell no! Isn't being their teacher enough punishment?" Cross took another swig of his flask.

Tiedoll set the first group up at the paint station. "But a teacher must interact with his children!"

Cross snorted. "I don't care. You're here to teach them, why should I have to suffer?"

"But art is fun!" The old man chirped as he set the second group at the clay station and the last group at the paper crafts station.

"Now children!" Tiedoll clapped, getting their attention. "In thirty minutes we will all switch, so group one will move to the station group two is in, and two will move to three and three will come back to one. I will let you know of the change, so go crazy! Art is about being spontaneous!"

The children quickly dug in, chattering and giggling away. Cross watched as Tiedoll went to every station, double checking on supplies and assisting any students who were shy or unsure of what to do. His gaze wandered off to the naughty corners where Allen and Kanda stood. The boys looked on with curious gazes.

"And what put them in their naughty corners?" Tiedoll asked, coming back to stand next to Cross.

"They fight too damn much. They're going to tear this place apart if they don't curb their anger" Cross replied as he glared at Allen, who stuck his tongue out at him.

Tiedoll laughed, his glasses twinkling under the florescent light of the classroom.

"Well, you do fight the ones you like. They probably like each other and don't know how to express it yet."

Cross rolled his eyes. They better learn or Cross was going to express his own like by shoving his foot up their little asses.

"Shouldn't they be given a second chance? Look at those puppy dog eyes!"

Cross saw that Allen looked to be on the brink of tears as he sniffled and pouted. Kanda, on the other hand just glared at Cross as he scowled. The redhead didn't know which of the two he wanted to punch harder.

"No."

Tiedoll frowned at Cross's clipped tone. "Oh! Pretty please with sugar on top and whip cream and a cherry with sprinkles and sugar plums!" The old man puckered his lips, screwing his eyes shut, making the deep crows feet wrinkles around them all the more apparent.

"My god, yes! Just don't make that face, my word you're ugly!" Cross recoiled.

Tiedoll smiled, beckoning the boys over. Allen happily joined Tiedoll and Cross, but Kanda didn't budge, preferring to stay away.

"Yuu-chan! Don't you want to play with papa?"

Kanda blushed and hid his face behind his hands.

Cross raised an eyebrow, curious at the relationship between Tiedoll and the she-male.

"You're the kid's dad?" Cross asked, snorting with a sly grin. "I didn't know you still had sperm." Forget shooting blanks, the man was so old he was probably shooting dust.

Tiedoll chuckled, a small blush on his cheeks.

"Oh I've adopted him a while back. Just like I did with Noise Marie over there!" He said pointing to the one Cross deemed the third grader.

"I also have another one in another class named Daisya. I'm the proud papa of three beautiful children!" the old man gushed while clasping his hands together.

Cross shrugged. "Well, guess I learned something new today."

"Don't be silly, I've told you about my children plenty of times during lunchtime! I show you pictures too!"

This was news to Cross as he frowned in thought. Maybe the reason he didn't remember was because he was usually hammered by lunchtime. God knew he had to be if he had to put up with Tiedoll's endless babble and endure a seemingly endless afternoon with a group of rambunctious brats after lunch.

"Whatever." Cross didn't care at this point and wanted the brats to start coloring or whatever so he could take a nap.

"There aren't any stations left so how are tweedle dee and tweedle dumb going to participate?"

"That won't be a problem!" Tiedoll chirped. The old man began to set up a fourth station near them and gathered four chairs and his grumpy son. He handed everyone their aprons. Cross sat down after putting on his apron and with Allen sitting next to him. The man bit back the urge to strike Allen's hideously cute face with a match to light up the cigarette he had in his breast pocket. Tiedoll took his seat next to Kanda who pouted as the man tried to fix his long she-male hair.

Allen looked up to Cross, expectant. The man frowned.

"What, you want me to coo over your ugly face too?"

Allen pouted.

"Now! Let's start with clay!" Tiedoll cheered as he handed out the cold lumps of wet clay. "You can make whatever you want! Like a puppy! Or a nice kitten or a horse."

Cross stared at his lump of clay, blaming it for his current predicament.

The boys began to mold their pieces of clay as Cross looked on, looking bored with his. Tiedoll on the other hand, was happily molding away, smiling at the children and looking on to see what they were doing.

"My, what a wonderful dog that is!" he complimented Kanda, who frowned.

"It's a car," the boy corrected.

"And a beautiful horse it'll be!"

Allen decided to show Cross what he was making in the hopes of getting praise.

"What the hell is that?" the redhead spat, looking at the mutation in Allen's hands.

"It's a kitty!" the white hair boy smiled.

Cross raised an eyebrow at the thing dubbed a "kitty"

"It looks like crap."

Allen frowned.

"I'll check on the other children," Tiedoll said, getting up.

Cross looked on as the old man sat with different groups, laughing and enjoying himself with the children as they talked to him.

The redhead's attention was soon drawn back to his table, however, when he heard the boys arguing.

"No! That's not how you do it!" Allen growled.

"Stop being a dumbass!" Kanda hissed.

And then the boys began to fight, using the clay as their weapons.

Cross reached for his flask again, clearly too sober for this shit.

Tiedoll came back at the sound of all the commotion.

"My word, they sure are fast," he marveled as the boys rolled around. The old man sat down, shaking his head.

Cross shrugged, wanting a smoke.

After a few moments of Cross ignoring the boys, Tiedoll grabbed Cross's attention.

"Here, I made a person." The old man proudly showed off his little figurine. " 'ello mister Cross, my name is mister—"

Cross slammed his fist onto the clay figurine.

"Very good!" Tiedoll cheered. "You're participating!"

Cross rolled his eyes. He was already irritable with the lack of nicotine in his system. He couldn't take the little bastards squawking and hollering any longer and got up to separate and dump the boys back into their chairs.

"Next is painting!" Tiedoll announced, noticing Cross's glare.

The old man busied himself with setting the paint up as well as rotating the other groups into their new set of activities.

Cross saw that at least the boys began painting, glaring at each other as they did so. Maybe this time around, they wouldn't end up fighting.

The redhead picked up a paint brush and decided to paint to. He was bored and couldn't smoke so he might as well as pretend to care. He drew a well endowed handsome stick figure of himself surrounded by big breasted stick figures of women.

"What a wonderful drawing of the zoo!" Tiedoll complimented over his shoulder.

The redhead flinched at their closeness and frowned. "It's me surrounded by beautiful women."

"I'm sure it is!" Tiedoll patted his head. Cross sucked his teeth. He wasn't five!

He glared at Allen who he could've sworn he heard snicker.

Tiedoll quickly went to his chair and showed Cross the beginnings of his drawing, which were rough sketches of some faces.

"Aren't they precious! They're going to be pictures of my boys! Fatherhood is a beautiful thing." The old man sighed and began to paint. "There are struggles, but the rewards are sweet!"

"You're an idiot for getting attached to some brats that aren't even yours," he snorted as he drew himself a crown.

Tiedoll grinned.

"You'll understand once you become a father," the old man said softly.

With the number of women Cross has slept with, he was probably a great, great grand father by now.

Allen tuned and showed his picture to Cross, a red blob of a stick figure with a black squiggly line coming out of it.

"What the hell is that?"

"It's Master Cross!" he boasted. "You like to suck on lollipop sticks and blow out smoke." The boy looked at his picture and then at his teacher, pouting. "Don't you like it?"

Cross usually gave in to the urge to slap Allen when the boy pouted at him like that, but today just wasn't his day as he sighed and drew a crown on Allen's rendition of his awesomeness.

"There, you were missing my crown."

The boy grinned going back to his picture. Cross shook his head, disappointed with himself at missing a golden opportunity to further destroy Allen's self esteem. He must not have enough alcohol in his system. He took a large swig of his flask, enjoying the burn of the amber liquid run down his throat and into his belly.

But the moment of bliss was short lived as the sound of a crash erupted. He looked to see Allen and Kanda covered in paint and rolling around as they fought. Tiedoll immediately went to try to separate them.

"C-crafts time!" he nervously called out to them.

* * *

Crafts time wasn't any different. The boys didn't even start to make anything as they just jumped right into fighting each other, with glitter and glue sticks as their new arena.

Cross retracted to the story time area, watching his class from his rocking chair. He also watched the boys fight, hoping for them to tire themselves out. He had his money on Allen this time as the boy shoved a glue stick up Kanda's nose.

Even Tiedoll, who initially tried to get the boys into making crafts, had given up, sitting instead with different groups and helping them with their art.

"Master Cross."

Lenalee and Lavi come over with Tiedoll. The pair of children looked at their teacher with apprehensive looks.

"Go on," Tiedoll said, encouraged them.

"We made you a gift!" Lavi shoved the piece of paper at Cross.

Cross looked at the picture of himself riding a damn unicorn.

"I don't want it, it's gay."

The children's bottom lips quivered as their eyes began to water.

"Come on now. They worked very hard at making it for you," Tiedoll warned, showing Cross that the children were going to cry…and cry and cry and cry, until Cross cried.

Cross did not what to hear the little harpies screaming so he sucked his teeth and took the picture, grudgingly.

"Thank you, it's beautiful."

Lenalee and Lavi smiled, skipping away to gloat and brag about it to the other children.

"Wasn't the precious? The children love you!"

"It's annoying," Cross snorted, shoving the picture in his pocket.

Miranda came up to them a few minutes later. The small girl handed Cross another picture.

"No!" he barked.

Miranda flinched, and her eyes began to water. Cross rolled his eyes.

"Alright already!"

* * *

About an hour later Cross was sitting on a treasure trove of gifts. He wore a paper yellow necklace as a gold chain and a crown. All around him were various pictures of himself and his many adventures with Barry the unicorn and some clay figurines laid about at his feet. He picked one up and decided that he'll use it as an astray at home since beer cans stopped being classy like, yesterday.

Cross figured that the gifts were a sign that he had complete and utter control over these little monsters as they admired and worshiped him. He took the gifts only because not taking them would ignite a group of screams and cries that would surely make his head burst. Tiedoll thought otherwise, saying that Cross cared about his children. Cross thought Tiedoll needed to shut the fuck up before he made the kids report the old man to the cops for touching them wrong.

The class was in the process of cleaning up when a loud crash was heard followed by the sound of two boys crying. It seemed that in their struggle, Allen and Kanda rolled into a book case, knocking it down and having the books land on them. Tiedoll was immediately over there, picking the sobbing children up. Cross growled, getting up to see what the hell was going on.

"Are they hurt?" the redhead asked, eyeing the boys, but not checking for any injuries.

"A little scrape here and there," Tiedoll said, examining a sobbing Kanda for more injuries.

Cross sighed. "Give them to me." He grabbed Allen's hand as well as Kanda's. "We're going to the nurse's office."

The comment only made the children sob even harder. The redhead snarled for them to be quite and dragged the pleading boys out of the classroom.

"Hold down the fort while I'm gone," he called out to Tiedoll who nodded and turned to the other worried children with a reassuring smile

The boys were still crying, tears and snot everywhere. Cross looked at them with disgust. They better not get that shit on his new slacks.

Their sobbing reduced to soft whimpers as they finally got to the door of the nurses office.

"W-we promise n-not to f-fight anymore!" Allen hiccupped.

Cross rolled his eyes.

"I don't understand why you kids are so scared of the nurse" he said, knocking on the door.

When the door slid open, Cross's jaw slightly dropped. The nurse was a big burly angry looking man dressed in white.

"Yes?" the dark skinned man asked. Cross saw that his name was Skin from his name tag.

Cross cleared his throat.

"I come from a far away kingdom," Cross began since he was still wearing his paper crown and paper necklace. "These dumbasses got hurt."

Skin, the nurse, did not look amused.

Cross sucked his teeth, shoving the boys towards the gorilla of a man.

"Just clean the little crotch fruits up."

Allen and Kanda tried to fight their way back towards Cross, but Skin, the nurse, had a pretty firm grip on them.

"Twenty minutes."

And the door slid closed.

Cross blinked. Twenty minutes? Sweet. That was enough time for a smoke and maybe a nap. He went outside with all his construction paper crafted glory and broke out his smokes.

* * *

Three smokes later, Cross returned to pick up the boys from the nurse's office.

What greeted him when the door slid open really impressed Cross. The boys were not only patched up, but groomed and cleaned (with the exception of their dirty clothes). The pale looking boys slowly walked up to Cross, each grabbing a hand as they held onto their lollipops.

"Nice job." Cross complimented, liking Allen's well combed hair. The boy looked less feral than usual.

He gave the male nurse a tip, patting the man's breast pocket after slipping in the money. The large man slid the door close.

He didn't know what the nurse did, but the boys were silent as they walked back to the classroom. He decided right then and there, that he should take the kids to the nurse more often.


End file.
